Zombies zombies everywhere
Look out, there’s one! Right over there 
Texting on their mobile phones 
They’ve still got on those typing tones! 

Trying to listen to Radio 4 
Instead I can hear random beats galore 
Blaring out from someone’s headphones
Hey, look mister, or missus, I’m trying to listen to Paxman here 

Whatever next? The over 70’s on Facebook 
I dread to look 
I’m in Facebook, but I’m young at heart 
And I love sharing that meme art 

But enough about me, let’s focus on the zombies 
At least when I’m out and about I socialise better than the wombles 
Instead of staring at a small rectangle of plastic 
Oh this nation needs a wake up call drastic 

Yes you can find out about the news on there 
But then you’d miss out seeing some guy’s crazy blue hair 
As he sits opposite you on the tube 
You’re missing out on life! And playing on your phone is darned rude! 

Put it away at the dinner table! I mean, really!!