Hello I’m Deirdre
And I’m a big fan of history 
Over the years there’s been much that I’ve seen 
Loads of lovely things have happened to me

When I was born way back in 1504
I saw things that you ain’t never seen before
I saw King Henry 8th, and he was fit, phwoar
I were there when they invented the door

Of course I’m not as old as all that
But I’m older than Tom Jones as a matter of fact 

But I feel like I am ancient history
I feel like I were there when they discovered tea

Like I were there when they dug up tutun karmun
I were there when they stood on the moon
When that moby dick were harpooned 
And when they discovered Baby June 

I were there when they discovered the pyramids 
I were there to see what Jesus did
I even met Mohammed 
I were there when Freud discovered the ‘Id’

I were there when princess Diana died 
I were there when the King, Elvis, died
I were there when Ghandi died 
Why does everyone lovely have to die? 

I were there when they invented the wheel 
When they started building cars with steel
When they invented and named the colour teal
I were there when they invented the wheel

Ok, so I weren’t there for all of that 
But I’m pretty darn old, and that’s a fact 
If there’s one thing I’m happy with in my old age 
It’s that I might one day live to see people earning the London living wage

Advertisements